Hello there... God here.  

Yes I thought you’d all say that... but let’s try not to be cynical bastards all of our miserable lives shall we? How about we just take a day off and imagine that I do exist for a moment? So assuming that... how would I try to get through to 21st century techno-schizoid man? When J.C. was around there were only 250 million of you, when Muhammad was around there were only 300 million of you. Now there’s 6,6 billion of you, so quite obviously shouting at you from a bloody hilltop is just not going to do it any more. So I shall have to engage modern methods of communication, but what medium should I chose in this the age of media? Well all of them I suppose... and the internet would seem to be the obvious place to start, in this the second decade of the second millennia since that nice chap J.C. and I were around. So here I am again... God incarnate. Deal with it.

Now I’m sorry to bug you in the middle of dinner, but what I have to get through to you in this messianic missive, is of the utmost importance to your survival, the survival of your species and to the survival of pretty well every other species that has had the serious misfortune to have come into contact with you lot of needy, greedy, heartless bastards. Sadly all My previous attempts at communicating this message to you have mostly ended up being bastardized, manipulated or ridiculed to the point the you just weren’t able to get it... and now your time has nearly run out. So to help you to paddle yourselves backwards out of the darkest depths of shit creek I’m back again trying one last time to communicate the same message to you but in a fearsome new form for your frighteningly febrile and fracased world. A message which is at once incredibly simple... but at the same time may prove to be just a teensy-weensy bit tricky for you to grasp as you have managed to manoeuvre yourselves so far away from where you should have been to start with. Which is far away from contact with the real You... Who is Me of course. As the Irishman and I said when asked for directions... ‘Well I wouldn’t start from here if I were you’. We couldn’t of said it better Ourselves.

GodAndBad consists of 400 8x10 colour pages full of My divine truth, peppered liberally with sex, violence, bad language and sufficient bad taste to offend just about everyone on the planet. GodAndBad is My last-ditch attempt to download My infinite and eternal wisdom onto the hard drive of your collective consciousness, because there ain’t no other way you are going to manage to paddle hard enough against the powerful current of shit that is sweeping you ever further down shit creek. GodAndBad is presently in book/film script format, awaiting interest from publishers, film makers and the unsuspecting public in general. The fact that GodAndBad exists in paper form is where any resemblance ends to ‘The Holy Babble’ and I’d better tell you that we’re up for seriously offending the 2 billion of you who laughingly call yourselves ‘Christians’.

Please take a look at www.GodAndBad.com, you’ll learn a lot of useful stuff about how you have all been taking it up the blowhole for so long without realizing it and what you can do about it before it’s too late. Maybe you’ll have a laugh or two on the way as well... You’re going to need to laugh with what’s coming your way soon. Do try to look at all the parts of GodAndBad as it changes style each time. It begins all pictures with few words and ends up all words and few pictures, which is certainly different if nothing else. Should you know of anyone sufficiently open-minded who might like to know about this totally original project whose time has come... would you please forward them this email. Up until now, publishers have been running a mile although I can’t imagine why. You probably can’t imagine why either, but then again, you haven’t seen it yet. Oh well, it may be heavy but I tell you this... those who miss out on it now will kick themselves later when GodAndBad becomes bigger than that irritating little, four-eyed, wizard-wally.

I have a few copies printed at the moment, so if you are an interested publisher, film maker or can generally help Me get GodAndBad out there... then I can send you one. If you’d like a copy to help save mankind from itself that’s great... but if you’re not going to publish it or make it into a blockbuster movie them you can sodding well buy a copy as this manifested piece of the Infinite Eternal is skint. Send me an email God@GodAndBad.com to let me know that you’re interested and when I have a reasonable amount of potential punters, I will print a limited run and let you know how much each copy will cost. You would be under no obligation of course and I will be taking no profit until I have a serious deal from whereon in all proceeds will be ploughed into a foundation to initiate the total World revolution that will be necessary to save you all. Oh did I forget to mention that..? Tah..! silly Me. Well it’s all explained in the book.

What would I need with money anyway, when I have the whole of unmanifested existence at my fingertips..? And so could you... if you were Me... which of course You are.

I’m glad We’ve got that cleared up. Bye for now and have a great big sacred smacker on every one of your little tushies from Me.

Your mate... God x